Oscillation

No you're right

It's not going to be good enough

You're a not a sensible person,

You chose this path you blind oaf

More sensible people wouldn't look at Everest

With anything other than a thin smile awe.

Dealing with the search for Love

Let alone lunch.

When you set your resolutions

In a rapture of unmeasured distances 

Perhaps its not just the only thing

To find a resolution

And make a new space

And invite yourself in

And not lose the battle between blind optimism and hope, and bitterness

Well fuck it

I suppose I'm bitter enough

I suppose irony is actually dead

There's something funny about being relentlessly searching my mind for the ticket to Anytown USA

And its royally fucking irritating, too

Supposing that I should be One and Whole

Instead of oscillating between two poles

Being IS Becoming! Said Deleuze

In pen, on paper, and slotted into a library

And leafed through with fingers shaking

At the frequency of whatever.

And if I come across as cynical

It's not because I am

It's because I am surrounded by

Phantoms of false faith

Nothing is sacred anymore

Because God is in the wind

And the wind is cold

Because it's autumn.

So I'll love the mushrooms

Like gods eternal groundsmen,

Restlessly sweeping away bones

In another one of my lost nights.

I'll bide my time

And wear my sunglasses

And tilt my head at your camera

Chewing oddly and slowly like a cow

A mirthless smile floats across my face

As if there is some bright future

As if in my nerves the question is lit

I will point a finger at my ego

Being, burnt out

My nerves are numb, really,

So no I won't lighten up

I'll darken down, thank you kindly

Life's too short to defend what i can't see

And I'll die like the rest

Let's go onwards,

And hold onto the only hope that is not out of the question- that the mushrooms get me good